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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?